I believe....

I believe in happiness even if I have every reason to believe not to be. I believe that a better world consists of salt and light. I believe christian music makes you feel better. I believe I can be someone conspicuous but be me even if people will spit at my face with looks of confusion, hate, and bizarre. I believe loving everyone even if they hate me. 

I believe the embrace of my mom is both bitter and sweet and I yet have to figure out why. I believe in love, I believe in tears wept silently in a loud obnoxious big silent room. I believe that watching someone going through the wrong path hurts more than a slap on the face, and that if I ever do see the light at the end of the road, I would regret I didn't get to do everything I shamelessly had the fear to do. 

Everything I hold so dear seems to slip out of my hands, but I stupidly believe that this world is better than it shouts to be. I believe that the mountains that are in front of us are there for a reason maybe to be better or maybe to say that we climbed it I still need to figure that out. I believe in school: studying, reading, writing - tears on paper. I believe that we all have a reason to live even if it's only meant to meet your significant other. 

I believe in pick up lines. I believe "She looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something." I believe kids are a gift not a curse. That loving someone you don't know is possible because its been done before. I believe that a story with someone with a tragic ending is better than not having one. I pitifully believe in happily ever afters. 

Most importantly I believe in Him. I believe He loved me first and if you could only see my heart you would know that I try with every inch of it to love Him back with all I can. I believe in His promises that He has made for me. His words are what makes me live and if you fell on the ground I would heel your wounds. I believe that I will be just like a star. Because when a star dies it still leaves light behind for many years after its disappearance, and just like a star I will keep living in people's hearts and maybe even leave a breath behind. Do you believe in the night sky? I remember staring at the starry night and the sight was a sky full of sparkles and I could almost here Him telling me that every one of those stars were meant for us to enjoy, but I was selfish for just a second to believe they were all for me, and just me. If you were to look at me that second you could have written a poem of my eyes and just how my eyes captured the night sky in them. I believe that is why I love the stars so much. And if someone told He didn't exist I would be the most asinine person in this world. I believe that a life is both a song and a dance and it's up to us who we want to dedicate it for. 

I believe I'll cry tomorrow. I believe that feeling too much is both a blessing and a curse and that is ok. I believe friends are found, and friends who are a accident are the best kind, and if I could somehow do both, I would be content. I believe rain is the most beautiful type of tears, I believe Treat Others How You Want to Be Treated, the earth is a architecture made by Him, and the worst tears shed where in Grapevine Lake on a warm sunny day.

I believe in Peter Pan and that deep down I will never grow up. I believe that I am a big beautiful mountain somewhere where I can be unnoticed and only be captured by wondering souls. So come and hold me and feel that, “I am both happy and sad at the same time, and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.” I believe I will be grand and for now that's enough.